Danny DeVito

Arnold Schwarzenegger Hires Maid to Cheer Up Danny DeVito After Marriage Breakup

In an effort to cheer up longtime friend and former co-star Danny DeVito following news that he was separating from wife Rhea Perlman after 30 years, Arnold Schwarzenegger has hired the actor a full-time maid.

DeVito, who has been depressed since publicly announcing he and Perlman were splitting up, admitted he was surprised to find a female maid knocking on his hotel room door in the middle of the night, but said his surprise turned to excitement when she announced she’d been sent by Schwarzenegger to give him the full “Arnold treatment.”

Danny DeVito

Danny DeVito in his hotel room with a maid supplied by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Schwarzenegger first learned about DeVito’s split, while at a book signing for his new autobiography “Total Recall: My Unbelievable True Life Story,” in which the movie star and former Governor chronicles his rise to fame and fortune, as well as his more scandalous exploits like fathering an illegitimate child with his housekeeper and his 15-year sexual relationship with a Dyson vacuum cleaner (Hollywood & Swine, September 30, 2012).

According to Schwarzenegger, DeVito called to tell him about the divorce and to say he hasn’t felt this bad since the premiere of their 1996 cinematic atrocity “Junior,” the comedy about Schwarzenegger becoming pregnant.  That’s when Schwarzenegger called Mildred Baena, the housekeeper whom he had a child with, and asked for names of potential housekeepers for DeVito.

“I’ve always felt that a maid is so much better than a hooker, because they clean up afterwards,” Schwarzenegger told Hollywood & Swine.  “I just told Danny to make sure he uses protection.”

Schwarzenegger also admitted sending a maid to Tom Cruise following his break-up with wife Katie Holmes.  But after Cruise converted the woman to Scientology, Schwarzenegger never heard from her again.

Schwarzenegger also quashed rumors of DeVito and him re-uniting for a sequel to their 1988 hit comedy, “Twins.”

“Earlier this year, I sat down with Maria and the kids and asked them what would be more embarrassing for our family — me writing a tell-all book about my affair with the housekeeper, or a sequel to ‘Twins.’ ” Schwarzenegger said.  “Without hesitating, they all told me to write the book.”

  • shwb

    if this is true, arnold is just plain gross. he really pulled the wool over californian’s eyes. he has no integrity- obviously. maria definitely better without him.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Brockett/1650200393 David Brockett

      UMMMMM…. this entire site is SATIRE…How could you not understand that?