Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger Reveals Details of 15-Year Affair With Dyson Vacuum Cleaner

Movie star and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new autobiography “Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story” reveals shocking new revelations about his ongoing fifteen-year relationship with his Dyson vacuum cleaner.  According to the memoir, which is being published today, Schwarzenegger first became intimate with the hose of his Dyson vacuum cleaner in 1997, when his lover and housekeeper Mildred Baena took time off for maternity leave to have his illegitimate son, leaving the actor without anyone to have sex with or clean his house.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger proudly shows off his Dyson vacuum cleaner, with which he had a 15-year affair.

“I have a powerful sexual attraction for anything that picks up around the house,” Schwarzenegger told Hollywood & Swine.  “It doesn’t matter if it’s a maid or a vacuum cleaner.  I don’t know why people are so shocked by my behavior.  After all, I did marry into the Kennedy family.”

Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver first became suspicious of her husband’s unusual relationship with his Dyson when he insisted on bringing the vacuum on every family vacation.  Shriver’s suspicions became even stronger after Arnold rewarded his Dyson with an associate producer credit on his 2003 film, “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.”

“Some nights, I would wake up alone in bed to the sound of Arnold vacuuming in the bathroom,” Shriver said.  “Anytime I asked him about it, he would just say vacuuming helped relieve his stress.”

In his book, Schwarzenegger also revealed that his affair with his Dyson accidentally helped expose his affair with housekeeper Mildred Baena after Shriver began to question why her family was paying their maid more than any other maid in America, even though Arnold always seemed to be doing the vacuuming.  Baena explained to Shriver that the reason for her high salary was that it included child support payments for Schwarzenegger’s secret son.

“I’m not proud of many of the things I’ve done in my life,” Schwarzenegger admitted. “These include my affair with my Dyson and the films ‘Junior’ and ‘End of Days.'”