kardashian

Bruce Jenner Legally Changes Last Name to Kardashian

Admitting his last name has lost its value and means nothing anymore, former Olympic Decathlon gold medal winner Bruce Jenner announced today he was throwing in the towel and legally changing his name to Bruce Kardashian.

“For years the Kardashian name has been synonymous with talentless reality stars and with helping O.J. Simpson get away with double homicide,” Bruce Kardashian told Hollywood & Swine.  “Now the Kardashian name will also represent the heart of an Olympic champion.”

kardashian

The former Bruce Jenner unveils the new Wheaties cereal box on which the Olympic champion is now known as Bruce Kardashian.

At the news conference where the Olympic champion announced the name change, on-lookers expressed confusion as to whether or not Bruce Kardashian was happy with his new name due to the fact that his face can no longer display emotion after years of plastic surgery.

Upon hearing news of the announcement, the International Olympic Committee said they were thrilled and looked forward to the having the Kardashian name appearing in all Olympic record books.

  • http://www.theinsideofmylife.com/ Allie

    This would not shock me at all – plus, it’d be good publicity for him to get in with the younger generation. Those of us who have no idea who he is, but we sadly know all about the Kardashians.

    Also, he should never pose next to himself in older pictures – it makes the plastic surgery work look so much creepier.

  • Jhamann7570

    I thought it already was kardashian…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=691721200 Dixie Kodet

    Poor Bruce. *L*

  • jules269

    Very sad!! Brucey Brucey!!! Being a Jenner means more than being a Kardouchian!! Sorry. However if you want to at least use the last name, hyphenate it. Become Bruce Jenner-Kardashian. I will always remember you as Bruce Jenner!!! Never a Kardouchian!!

    • RiverBrat

      It’s satire you dumbass. The comments to these articles are splitting my sides wide open!

  • Beth Fountain

    Is this a joke OMG????

  • Doxbox

    Is this guy serious ?? I mean it is so very hard to take this guy serious anymore what with all the surgeries, his crazy new look and the rest of the BS that family has to offer. Talentless people brought him down to a strange level of inner disgust. Is he trying to be like them ?? Trying to be weird and fake and believe that the entire world is going to be watching him and want to be the same way. ??
    Makes me want to puke.