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Colin Farrell Suffering From Depression After Agents Tell Him to Consider Career in Television

Former movie star Colin Farrell revealed today that he is suffering from severe depression following an emergency weekend meeting with his CAA agents, who informed the actor that it’s time for him to seriously consider a career in television. This latest round of bad news comes on the heels of a disappointing past few months for Farrell, following the release of “Seven Psychopaths” and Sony’s critical and financial disaster, “Total Recall.”

“I’d rather tell my kid that our dog died than have to tell a former movie star that his only option left is television,” said a William Morris Endeavor agent, who earlier this year had the tough job of convincing Kevin Bacon to take the lead in the upcoming Fox TV drama, “The Following.”  “And Alec Baldwin cried for two weeks straight before he agreed to do ’30 Rock.’ ”

According to his agents, Farrell was lured to the meeting at CAA under the guise that Universal was interested in making a sequel to Farrell’s 2006 bomb, “Miami Vice.”  Once there, Farrell was bombarded with a stack of television pilots for which his agents believed he would be perfect.

Among the pilots offered to Farrell were:

– “Burn Notice: Hawaii,” a spinoff of USA’s hit series “Burn Notice” that would feature Farrell playing the role of a burned spy stuck in Maui.

– “Straight Shooters,” an NBC pilot co-written by Greg Berlanti and Max Mutchnick that follows the adventures of heterosexual vice cops working in San Francisco.

– “Tyler Perry’s White Folks,” a TBS comedy that revolves around Farrell’s character marrying into an African-American family in Atlanta.

Farrell who admitted he’s been in a bit of a dry spell ever since his last hit, 2003′s “SWAT,” told his agents he’s not giving up on his film career, pointing to the encouraging fact that his failed 2012 remake of “Total Recall” made more money than his failed 2011 remake of “Fright Night.”  At this rate Farrell predicts he’ll actually have a legitimate hit with some unnecessary remake in a few years.

In related news, former movie star Christian Slater was told by his agents that it’s time to seriously consider dinner theater after his last three television series “My Own Worst Enemy,” “The Forgotten” and “Breaking In,” were all cancelled.