demi moore 2

Demi Moore Still Holding Out Hope Ashton Kutcher Just Punking Her and Will Return Soon

As the one year anniversary of her public breakup with husband Ashton Kutcher approaches, actress Demi Moore has admitted she hasn’t moved on because she’s convinced the whole thing is simply a prank orchestrated by Kutcher for his “Punk’d” TV show and will return any day now.

“You think it’s just a coincidence that Ashton left me around the same it was announced ‘Punk’d was coming back to MTV?” Moore told Hollywood & Swine.  “This is just like the episode where he convinced Justin Timberlake that the IRS seized all his property, except it’s a lot meaner.”

According to sources close to Moore, the actress spends hours every morning having her hair and makeup professionally done so she’ll be camera ready when Kutcher and his “Punk’d” crew jump out of the bushes and inform her their impending divorce was his greatest celebrity practical joke to date.

Moore admits she’s a little annoyed at how far Kutcher has gone to punk her, including hiring a divorce attorney and having a very public romantic relationship with Mila Kunis, Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive.”

“Mila and Ashton are simply acting as if they’re dating, like they did when they were on ‘That ‘70s Show,’ ” said Moore to anyone who would listen.  “I just hope Ashton ends his prank in time for the holidays.”

Moore’s closest friends and family, including ex-husband Bruce Willis have pleaded with Moore to face the reality that there’s a better chance her former “Ghost” co-star Patrick Swayze will come back than there is of Kutcher’s return.

But there is one person who believes Moore’s “Punk’d” theory — former child star and ex-boyfriend of Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin.  Culkin not only called to give Moore his support but to share his theory that Kunis dumping him two years ago was also an elaborate “Punk’d” segment and she’ll be back soon.

  • Coy

    This isn’t even funny it’s just mean spirited! 🙁

  • meyou

    Gee, I remember (after BO was elected) Demi said how wonderful the world was going to be, and she and Ashton had decided to have a baby! My goodness, how times change. Mental illness can get worse if left untreated.

  • James Parker

    I might ask for a job application after that article…lo

  • John Renn

    Under the Command of Pars Hilton.., Ashton Kutcher is Scheduled for a Historic Space Mission that will test the Endurance of the Human Species and determine if Man Kind and Woman Kind can Procreate in Outer Space. It’s a “Wet and Wild” Weightless Event ! Paper Towels courtesy of Brawney. ‘Schwing’-in’ !!