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Director Darren Aronofsky Shuts Down Production on ‘Noah’ After His Scarf Disappears

Oscar-nominated director Darren Aronofsky shut down production earlier today on his biblical epic, “Noah,” starring Russell Crowe, after his lucky scarf was reported missing.  Aronofsky has worn his beloved scarf, which he often refers to as his assistant director, on every film he’s ever made, including “The Wrestler” and “Black Swan.”

“If I’m not wearing a scarf, how will anyone know I’m a director,” Aronofsky told Hollywood & Swine, as he tore apart his trailer searching for the missing scarf.

Darren Aronofsky

Immediately following the disappearance of his beloved scarf, director Darren Aronofsky announced he was offering a $25,000 reward for its safe return.

It was following an extensive search of the “Noah” set and crew members failing to turn up any sign of his scarf, that Aronofsky called Paramount Pictures, the studio behind the film, and told them the movie was over.

“Darren’s even more upset that his scarf got stolen, than he was when Daniel Craig stole his wife, Rachel Weisz,” said Russell Crowe.

The Aronofsky scarf situation is eerily similar to what happened during the making of Hollywood’s last big budget arc movie, “Evan Almighty.” During the shooting of the Tom Shadyac boxoffice disaster, the film’s comedy inexplicably disappeared and was never recovered.

“Maybe Mel Gibson is the only one meant to make Biblical epics,” said a defeated Aronofsky, wearing a turtleneck in place of his trademark pretentious scarf.

According to sources working on the set of “Noah,” the most popular theory on what happened to Aronofsky’s scarf is that one of that one of the numerous animals cast in the film accidentally ate it.  Unfortunately, none of the crew had the courage to tell the eccentric director their suspicions, out of fear he might hurt one of the animals.