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Director Jail Adds New Animation Wing After Failure of ‘Rise of the Guardians’

Officials at the Renny Harlin Correctional Institute, known for harboring some of the world’s worst filmmakers incarcerated for cinematic crimes, announced today they are adding an animation wing to Director Jail, and its first inmate will be “Rise of the Guardians” helmer Peter Ramsey.  According to Director Jail officials, the decision was made after the disastrous boxoffice results of Dreamworks Animation’s “Rise of the Guardians,” which caused Dreamworks Animation stock to hit a 52-week low.

Peter Ramsey

“Rise of the Guardians” director Peter Ramsey seen being led into Director Jail, where he will spend time in the new animation wing, following his sentencing.

“Peter Ramsey deserves to rot in director jail because he ruined my holidays,” said Dreamworks Animation head Jeffrey Katzenberg, who attended Ramsey’s sentencing hearing to make sure he received the maximum sentence.  “I was going to give out nice Hanukkah presents this year, but now I have to give friends and family all the ‘Rise of the Guardians’ merchandise we couldn’t sell.”

Director jail officials are hopeful that by keeping their animation director inmates separate from their live action director inmates, it will cut down on the instances of violence in the facility.  Earlier this year, director Simon Wells, who was serving a life sentence for helming Disney’s animated 2011 boxoffice bomb “Mars Needs Moms,” was attacked in the showers by live action directors McG and Martin Brest, who were doing time for their flops “This Means War” and “Gigli.”

“A lot of inmates in here don’t respect animation directors, but not me,” legendary director jail inmate Joel Schumacher told Hollywood & swine, adding he can’t wait to meet Ramsey.  “Anyone who can manage to direct a flop targeted for kids starring Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, is someone I am proud to call a peer.”

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