Only days after his resignation as head of the Central Intelligence Agency, following the revelation of his extramarital affair, General David Petraeus announced he is enlisting in the upcoming season of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars.” Petraeus will compete against numerous former celebrities, including Latoya Jackson, Lisa Rinna, Dennis Rodman, Lil’ Jon, Stephen Baldwin, and Gary Busey, in order to be named the next Celebrity Apprentice by billionaire and media whore Donald Trump.
“I only hope my years of battling Al-Qaeda and the Taliban have prepared me for taking on such intense competition from Dennis Rodman and Gary Busey,” Petraeus told Hollywood & Swine. “More importantly, my wife gave me her full blessing as long as I promised not to have sex with Latoya Jackson.”
The star of “Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars,” Donald Trump, said he holds General Petraeus in the highest regard, not only for his years of dedicated service to his country, but, more importantly, for his ability to cheat on his wife. Trump, who has been called a four-star philanderer by his two ex-wives, admitted he is hoping Petraeus wins the reality show competition because unlike the other contestants, Petraeus has actually accomplished something in his life.
In addition to his joining the cast of “Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars,” Petraeus also announced a sequel to “All In: The Education of General David Petraeus,” the biography written about him by Paula Broadwell, the woman with whom he had an affair. The book will be entitled “Pulling Out: How To Avoid Having A Child Out of Wedlock,” which will also be written by Broadwell.
In addition to Petraeus, Trump also revealed another addition to the “Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars” cast — recently fired Los Angeles Lakers coach Mike Brown.
“I heard how upset Donald Trump was when he wasn’t able to tell President Obama he was fired on election night,” said Brown, who admitted that Trump wouldn’t agree to let him on the show until he produced his birth certificate. “So I told him if you really want to fire an African-American, I’m your guy.”