George Lucas

Disney Pays $4 Billion to George Lucas in Exchange For Him Promising Never to Direct Another ‘Star Wars’ Sequel

The Walt Disney Co. announced yesterday that it had paid over $4 billion to acquire Lucasfilm in exchange for George Lucas promising he will never write or direct another “Star Wars” movie again.  In addition to the $4 billion, Lucas, will also be allowed to continue his current life’s passion, selling “Star Wars” merchandise, and will be given a kiosk inside Disneyland where he can peddle toy lightsabers and Chewbacca t-shirts to tourists.

George Lucas

After selling his Lucasfilm empire to the Walt Disney Company, George Lucas is seen standing in front of a souvenir kiosk at Disneyland, where he will sell “Star Wars” merchandise.

According to Disney Chairman and CEO Robert Iger, the idea to gain control of the “Star Wars” franchise first came to him after seeing the 3D rerelease of “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” last February.

“I had forgotten how dreadful ‘Phantom Menace’ and Jar Jar Binks were until I saw the film again on the big screen,” Bob Iger told Hollywood & Swine, referring to the first of Lucas’ highly anticipated, but incredibly disappointing prequels that he wrote and directed over a decade ago.   “‘Star Wars’ is one of the most treasured franchises in cinematic history, which is why it was so important to get it away from George Lucas before he had the chance to make another movie as bad as his last three.”

Disney also revealed plans for three new “Star Wars” films, for which Lucas had already written treatments.  But a source inside Disney told Hollywood & Swine that the studio quickly put the treatments into the same paper shredder the studio used to destroy the screenplay for “John Carter 2,” which was commissioned before the release of “John Carter.”

“It’s a shame we didn’t make this deal twenty years ago,” Iger said.  “Not only would we have gotten the franchise for a fraction of the cost, but the world would never have had to suffer through Hayden Christensen’s acting.”

  • Metamech

    Does Lucas seriously have no chin? It’s a good thing he’s got a beard or we wouldn’t know where his face starts and his chest ends.