adam sandler

Film Critics Across Country Plan to Call in Sick to Avoid Watching New Adam Sandler Movie

In a desperate attempt to avoid having to review Adam Sandler’s new comedy “That’s My Boy,” thousands of film critics around the country are planning a nationwide sickout.  The sickout is being planned for Friday which is when “That’s My Boy” opens and would be the first chance reviewers could see it, due to the fact that Sony Pictures, having wised up to reviewers’ hatred of Sandler, is not screening the movie for critics.

adam sandler

Film critic Leonard Maltin eagerly getting a note from his doctor, excusing him from work for the rest of the week, so he can avoid reviewing "That's My Boy."

“Nobody makes food critics review restaurants that fail a health inspection, so why should film critics be forced to sit through an Adam Sandler movie for an excruciating two hours?” asked Rolling Stone film critic Peter Travers.  “And if you’ve ever sat through an Adam Sandler movie, you know it’s much worse for your health than a bad restaurant.”

But newspaper and magazine editors throughout the country are determined to squash any potential sickout by warning their film critics that if they call in sick on Friday they will be fired.

“It’s a slippery slope,” said one newspaper editor.  “If they start skipping Adam Sandler movies, it won’t be long before they start skipping Eddie Murphy movies, then Reese Witherspoon movies.  Before you know it, the only films they’ll want to review will be good movies.”

“We’re not lying,” countered another film critic.  “We really are sick — sick of having to review Adam Sandler movies.”

But there is one film critic in America who will not be calling in sick to avoid “That’s My Boy.”

Jake Weston, the film critic for the Jefferson Gazette, the newspaper put out monthly by Thomas Jefferson Middle School in Columbus, Ohio, is excited to see Adam Sandler’s latest masterpiece.

“Adam Sandler is why I got into the film reviewing business in the first place,” said the 13- year-old critic.  “It’s like we have the same sensibilities.”  Unfortunately, Weston may not get to see “That’s My Boy” —  it’s rated R and he can’t find a single adult willing to see the movie.

  • Dick

    I sincerely hope he pays for his filth. I would punch him in the face repeatedly if I ever ran into him. He deserves much worse though… death by slow torture… please!

    • Ok Then

      Really, he deserves to die? A little
      harsh don’t think? I mean Adam Sandler movies are bad, but are they as bad as an
      anonymous internet post stating he should be tortured? True, watching Adam’s
      movies is a form of torture, but still… come on people, show a little civility
      and class. 

  • alwaysanswerc

    Ah, I’m sure Armond White will see it.

  • Mulsanne917

    I forced myself to sit through “Happy Gilmore” once.  Just to prove to myself I’d wasted all three dollars (of the rental fee).  

    I plead temporary insanity…but I’m feeling better now…really I am….

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