jodie foster

Golden Globes’ Honorary Award to Jodie Foster Was Ploy to Stage Intervention For Mel Gibson

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association revealed that the Cecil B. Demille award given to Jodie Foster at last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was actually a ploy to lure her friend, Mel Gibson, out of hiding in order to stage a much-needed intervention.  The reclusive Gibson, who hasn’t attended an award ceremony in years out of fear of his Hollywood peers staging an intervention, agreed to attend the Golden Globes, sitting beside his “Maverick” co-star to see her accept the coveted lifetime achievement award.

Jodei Foster

Mel Gibson at the 2013 Golden Globes moments before he realized Jodie Foster and others were about to stage an intervention for him.

According to witnesses, Gibson became suspicious that something was wrong midway through Foster’s highlight reel when he saw clips from such non-classic films as “Little Man Tate,” “Home For the Holidays,” “The Brave One,” “Contact,” and “The Beaver.”

“These films are barely good enough to be at Redbox, let alone in the Cecil B. Demille highlight reel,” Gibson said to the other people at his table.  “This better not be a trick to get me into rehab.”

Unfortunately, the intervention attempt went awry after Jodie Foster got off track with her acceptance speech.

“Jodie was supposed to get onstage and recite all the ways Mel’s alcoholism has negatively affected her life and that she thinks he needs treatment,” said Robert Downey Jr., who presented the award to Foster.  “But then she started rambling on about being a lesbian and the downside of fame in Hollywood.  By the time she was done, Mel had polished off all the champagne at his table and passed out.”

By the time, Foster was done doing interviews backstage, she discovered Gibson had left the Golden Globes early to go on a bender with fellow actors Josh Brolin and Joaquin Phoenix.  However, Best Supporting Actress winner Anne Hathaway volunteered to take Gibson’s place in the intervention, not because she has a drinking problem, but because she couldn’t pass up a chance to be the center of attention and have everyone talk about her.

  • e jerry powell

    I knew someone had to take that somewhere.

  • eqreynolds

    Wow. Good thing no one takes you seriously.

    In case you missed it, Mel was at the table later in the ceremony and was visibly there to the end.

  • Megan

    What kind of fake article mess??

  • Sharon Lecouteur

    Obviously a bunch of lies because I saw him at the very end , he was still there !! Obviously you weren’t even watching !! If I were him I would sue you !!

  • luis

    fabulous article. Had me going to almost the end. good job, eh eh eh

  • carl fxi

    atleast this is good quality nonsense.

  • Brynne M.

    Array = awry?

  • Jack Jett

    Regarding the above which was written by A. Lohan…..I find it meandering and lethargic while gently annoying to my palette. Oui?

  • KXB

    Is ANYONE buying this shit???

  • C. Allen

    The number of people who don’t seem to realise that this is a satirical site is worrying.

    • TiminAL

      If I had to guess, these same people get “All the news that’s fit to print” from the Onion as well.

    • A.More

      I agree it is mind boggling how so many are oblivious to the fact that this is obviously a parody/satire site. However part of the fun is the ignorant comments, always making me chuckle.

  • lanam

    while jodie did her speech mel was standing off side of the stage listening to his friend jodie’s speech; he wasn’t finishing off any champagne… you also could see him standing off to the side waiting for his friend jodie. so sick of the mel jokes; but mel does have friends who care for him, RDJ, jodie, whoopie,danny glover all want him to get back and do what he does best – act, direct again bc he’s made so many great films & i hope he hollywood would give him another chance…i saw his last movie “get the gringo” and i loved it… I LOVE YA MEL:)

  • hungergames82

    When so many ppl just can’t get a joke and sarcasm… that’s when you really should start worrying about humanity. I mean really, internet is a great place cause finally anyone can see how many amaaaazingly stupid ppl are out there…

  • WastesOfSpace

    Wan’t sure what I was reading, then saw the bottom comments, another retarded waste of print… satire site, call it for what it is, idiots too lazy to actually write real news… ha ha ha this was so funny, i dont feel like i just wasted part of my life reading this $hit and then replying to it.

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