jay z

Jay-Z Worried ‘Law & Order: SVU’ Will Do Episode Inspired By Sister-in-Law Beating Him Up

by Andy Marx & Will McArdle

Hours after surveillance footage went viral of rapper Jay-Z being beaten up by his sister-in-law, Solange Knowles, in an elevator at a Met Gala after party, the hip-hop mogul has told friends and family he is extremely worried that NBC will exploit the assault into an episode of their hit drama, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.” According to Jay-Z, his concerns that his embarrassing ordeal might be turned into an episode of “Law & Order: SVU” is based on the fact the longest running procedural on television has recently used Chris Brown’s domestic violence on Rihanna, Woody Allen’s molestation allegations and even the Miami Dolphins bullying scandal for episode storylines.

jay z

“I can just see Detectives Rollins and Amaro finding a bloody unconscious rapper in an elevator, but for some reason he won’t tell them who assaulted him,” Jay Z told Hollywood & Swine. “Then later in the episode, Benson will probably get my character to open up by talking about the time she was assaulted, which will lead my character to break down crying and revealing my sister-in-law attacked me.”

Jay-Z also revealed that since TMZ leaked the video of his elevator assault by his sister-in-law, he has lost a tremendous amount of street cred in the hip-hop world. Earlier today, the hologram of Tupac Shakur abruptly cancelled a scheduled performance with him because appearing onstage with Jay-Z would now damage his image.

“I confess, I did look a little scared in that video,” Jay-Z said. “But that’s only because I’m extremely claustrophobic in elevators, not because I’m afraid of a woman.”

In related news, former “Scandal” star Columbus Short admitted he would love to play a Jay-Z inspired character on an episode of “Law & Order: SVU” next season. Short, who was dropped from the hit ABC drama, due to allegations that he threatened and physically assaulted his wife, said it would nice to stretch himself as an actor by playing someone who doesn’t actually hit women.

  • GolfWang

    Lmmmmmmfao hilarious fake story

    • Self Cut Survivor

      BAE DNT SWERVE ME IM BETTA THAN HIM JUS GIVE ME A CHANCE

      • GolfWang

        I’m not swerving you at all. And I can’t

        • Self Cut Survivor

          WHY NOT BAE

          • GolfWang

            Just can’t

          • Self Cut Survivor

            JUST GIVE ME A TRUE REASON PLZ

          • Self Cut Survivor

            PLEASE.

          • GolfWang

            It’s not that serious….

          • Self Cut Survivor

            YUU SO PRETTY AND I JUST WANN KNOW Y YOU JUST CAN’T

          • GolfWang

            Why u spelling You like that ? I think I know who u are.

          • Self Cut Survivor

            SUM PPL ALREDY KNOW IM SQUIDWARD, BUT DNT IGNORE THA QUES.

          • GolfWang

            I’m not. But why me ? Lol

          • Self Cut Survivor

            BCUZ YOURE PERFECT N HE DNT DESERVE YU

          • GolfWang

            Yea he does

          • Self Cut Survivor

            WTFH NOO Y??!

          • GolfWang

            Why dosent he deserve me then ?

          • Self Cut Survivor

            .. SHIT, GUD POINT..

          • Dafuq
          • GolfWang
          • Self Cut Survivor

            I WANN SUM OF DAT

          • Dafuq

            I LOVE YOUU

          • GolfWang

            I love you too

          • Self Cut Survivor

            LOVE ME INSTED!!!!!

          • ExaltedAboveAll

            This nigga made two accounts playing with himself

          • GolfWang

            Where did u come from? And who made two accounts ?

          • Dafuq

            He’s like 4 people who follow me around.

          • GolfWang

            He said he’s squidward .

          • Dafuq

            Lol I know he is, it’s obvious too cause I’ve seen him twice now spam on squidward, suddenly stop, and talk shit to me on that acc. Just my assumption tho and it makes sense cause they both call me out a lot.

          • Self Cut Survivor

            BITCH

          • GolfWang

            Lol yeah that makes sense now

          • Dafuq

            Lmaoo

          • GolfWang

            Lol was u reading all of that ?

          • Dafuq

            Nah not all, I’m mostly just lurking comments and liking comments lol. I come to the desktop thingy and see you replying to him so much lmao

  • Leslie Rutherford-Ishmael

    Aaah…. Jay-Z got scared. I bet he and his wife stop paying Sol’s bills now. I would press charges on her. Let’s just see if the state goes after her. Probably not…. they have money and black on black never get fair justice. Only if it was a White again a Black…