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Jerry Sandusky Sends Resume to ‘Sesame Street,’ Hoping to Get Hired as New Elmo Puppeteer

Following allegations that Kevin Clash, the Emmy-award winning puppeteer and voice behind the beloved ‘Sesame Street’ character Elmo, had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy, convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky has forwarded his resume to PBS in an effort to be hired as the replacement for Clash, who was forced to take a leave of absence.

“I’ve always admired Kevin Clash ever since I watched his documentary ‘Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey,’ ” Jerry Sandusky told Hollywood & Swine.  “Now after these allegations, I really admire him.”

Elmo

Jerry Sandusky and his new pal, Tickle Me Elmo, whom he hopes will tickle him back.

The 52-year-old Clash, who had voiced Elmo for nearly three decades before taking a leave of absence from ‘Sesame Street’ this week, denies the allegations, claiming he had sex with the victim when he was the legal age of 18.

“I tried using that defense once or twice myself,” Sandusky said.  “Hopefully, Clash will hire a better attorney than I did.”

The producers of “Sesame Street” admitted they were baffled when they received Sandusky’s resume, especially since he is currently serving a minimum sentence of 30 years in a Pennsylvania prison.  According to the producers, Sandusky also inquired about whether or not “Sesame Street” is a Screen Actors Guild eligible production, in an attempt to qualify for SAG health insurance after receiving subpar medical treatment in prison.

PBS executives also announced that in addition to their Kevin Clash publicity nightmare, they have recalled their entire Elmo toy line after thousands of children claimed this week that their Tickle Me Elmo dolls tickled them back inappropriately.

In related news, Mitt Romney, who lost the Presidential election last week, released a statement to address the Elmo sex scandal.

“Luckily, I didn’t get elected President so I won’t be able to cut the $450 million in federal funding for PBS I had planned, and those creepy ‘Sesame Street’ puppeteers won’t be forced to go get a real job,” Romney said.