Michael Moore

Michael Moore Claims He’s Being Haunted By the Ghost of Conservative Andrew Breitbart

Controversial filmmaker Michael Moore caused a stir today when he disclosed that he is being haunted by the ghost of conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart, who died earlier this year.  Moore claims Breitbart’s spirit began terrorizing him earlier this week after he made a controversial commercial for Moveon.org featuring elderly people threatening Presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

Michael Moore

Filmmaker Michael Moore captured evidence that he’s being haunted by the ghost of Andrew Breitbart.

“I know it is Breitbart, because every morning I find my Academy Award for ‘Bowling for Columbine’ sitting in the toilet,” Moore told Hollywood & Swine.  “He even destroyed all my trademark baseball caps and messy t-shirts.  Imagaine how mortified I was when I had to appear on a television interview with combed hair and a collared shirt.”

Inspired by the hugely successful “Paranormal Activity” films, Moore set-up video cameras around his home to capture footage of Breitbart’s ghost terrorizing him at night.  Moore showed reporters several hours of footage that eerily shows the words “One Percenter” written in blood appearing on the walls of Moore’s $2 million house.

The footage also reveals Moore sleepwalking into his kitchen and eating an entire rotisserie chicken.  Conservative critics of Moore immediately dismissed his video evidence of Breitbart’s ghost, saying the theories in his documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” were more believable.

In a desperate attempt to make amends with Breitbart’s ghost, Moore claims he went to see “Hating Breitbart,” the new documentary featuring the deceased conservative, but admits even that didn’t work.

“Breitbart’s ghost is getting really mean,” Moore said.  “Last night he put ‘Canadian Bacon,’ the embarrassingly bad comedy I directed on every television in my house.”

  • Newspeaktogo

    Give em’ hell Andy and don’t let up…maybe you can scare the Moose into a little sanity.

    • jimmytwofoots

      That kind of scare doesn’t exist.

  • DB1954

    What a sick, brain-dead fool.

  • DB1954

    What a sick, brain-dead fool.

  • FinaBiscotti

    It is about time that Michael Moore faced the mess he started – w his bogus documentaries – that only a deranged Fat F would do.

    • MiamiARH_likes_boys

      You’ve got to be one of the stupidest people on the planet. You realize this site is a joke, like the Onion, right? Wow, no wonder your party lost.

  • FinaBiscotti

    It is about time that Michael Moore faced the mess he started – w his bogus documentaries – that only a deranged Fat F would do.

  • FinaBiscotti

    Michael Moore is trying to get attention for himself – calling on Brietbart’s Spirit!
    What happened? Spike Lee will not speak to the fat F Moore? Too white?

  • FinaBiscotti

    Michael Moore is trying to get attention for himself – calling on Brietbart’s Spirit!
    What happened? Spike Lee will not speak to the fat F Moore? Too white?

  • http://www.facebook.com/melindareynolds51 Melinda S Reynolds

    Oh, come on, is this some kind of idiot satire or something? Because it sounds too good to be true.

    • operanerd1986

      This entire site is satirical.

      • CheeseDoodle

        She seems to be irony deficient.

        • Dip_Schlitz_DOOKIEMONSTER

          And so are you, sir.

          • Troy Berkely

            and so are you!

  • sailcat

    Smacks of desperation when you have to invoke the spirit of your dead ideological enemy to resusitate your pathetic little career. What a nasty pig.

  • Da_Bunny

    Moore is less.

    • http://twitter.com/ButlerBros Dale Tibbett

      Moore is minus 200 million.

  • DirtyDirtyMittens

    This is not possible. For there to be a ghost after death, there must be a soul before death, and Breitbart had no soul.

    • Troy Berkely

      You soulless idiot! Speak for yourself!

  • DirtyDirtyMittens

    This is not possible. For there to be a ghost after death, there must be a soul before death, and Breitbart had no soul.

    • Troy Berkely

      You soulless idiot! Speak for yourself!

  • Snitch_in_Time

    Relax Moore, it isn’t the ghost of Andrew Breitbart. It is just a daemon from Hell who is trying to get you used to the eternity you have requested and will receive in due time.

    • MiamiARH_likes_boys

      Good for him there’s no such thing as God, Jesus, heaven, hell, Santa or Hobbits or any other made up fictional characters. But you keep right on “believing.”

      • Snitch_in_Time

        I think the athiest protests too much. It doesn’t appear to me that you believe your own rhetoric. That is why you have to resort to the intellectually dishonest and transparent fallacy of relevance.

        • MiamiARH_likes_boys

          That’s funny, considering it’s usually the crazy Christian right doing the protesting.
          What is intellectually dishonest about saying made up things are made up? Oh, sorry, did you use words that are too big for your own meager understanding? Must be hard. Go check the bible, maybe it says something about that.

          • Iamwethepeople

            Statistics show that the majority of protesting occurs by those of the liberal/socialist mindset. Your comments are fallacious in many ways.

          • Troy Berkely

            Go back to playing with your little boys as your moniker suggests.

  • Rosalee Adams

    Oh Michael say it isn’t so

  • operanerd1986

    This entire site is satirical.

  • http://twitter.com/ButlerBros Dale Tibbett

    Moore is minus 200 million.

  • Snitch_in_Time

    I think the athiest protests too much. It doesn’t appear to me that you believe your own rhetoric. That is why you have to resort to the intellectually dishonest and transparent fallacy of relevance.

  • Iamwethepeople

    Statistics show that the majority of protesting occurs by those of the liberal/socialist mindset. Your comments are fallacious in many ways.