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Mitt Romney Makes Surprise Appearance at CinemaCon; Promises to Outlaw Texting During Movies if Elected

Las Vegas — Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, having run out of any other substantive ideas to fix the country, has announced plans to enact legislation that will outlaw texting in movie theaters within the first 100 days of his presidency if he’s elected in November.  Romney made the pledge during a surprise visit to CinemaCon, the annual convention of the National Association of Theater Owners.

Romney’s surprise appearance initially set off a wave of confusion among the crowd, when convention attendees mistakenly believed he was a promotional prop for Sony’s upcoming “Men in Black 3.”

“While President Obama has been focusing on raising taxes on people like me, I’ve decided to take on a problem that nobody else has the courage to do,” Romney said, moments before stomping on a Blackberry in front of hundreds of attendees at the Las Vegas Convention Center. “The people in America are ready for someone to tackle this problem head on.”

Actress Reese Witherspoon who was also in attendance at CinemaCon, spoke out against Romney’s plan.  “I have had hundreds of fans tell me that if it wasn’t for their ability to text during my last film, ‘This Means War,’ they never would have been able to sit through the entire movie,” Witherspoon told Hollywood & Swine.  “If Romney bans texting, it will kill the film industry.”

During his announcement, in which he promised to pass legislation outlawing texting during movies, Romney stressed that the problem of texting has increased dramatically since President Obama became president.

“During the last three and a half years, the problem has gotten totally out of control.  I blame that on President Obama and his administration,” Romney said.

But Democrats quickly fired back, insisting they inherited the texting-in-theaters crisis from the Bush administration.

During the Bush presidency, I couldn’t go to a movie without it being ruined by some idiot texting,” said Obama strategist David Axelrod. “For Romney to blame this administration is absurd.”

Romney said, if elected, he will make it his first priority to get the legislation passed.

But a spokesperson for the cellular industry said the call for a law outlawing texting in theaters was premature.

“The only reason people text in movie theaters is because they’re bored by the terrible movies Hollywood releases,” the spokesperson said. “Perhaps Mitt Romney should get Congress to enact a law banning bad movies.”

  • Archie Leach

    I’ll vote for romney if he promises to ban himself.

  • Archie Leach

    I’ll vote for romney if he promises to ban himself.