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Out of Respect For Syrian Victims, Jennifer Lopez Raises Fee to Perform At Assad’s Birthday

In a touching sign of respect for the countless civilians killed or displaced in Syria, movie and music star Jennifer Lopez has raised her fee to perform at Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s birthday party on September 11th.   According to Lopez, the decision to raise her quote from the $1.5 million she was paid in June to perform for the brutal Turkmenistan dictator, Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, on his birthday, to $2.5 million to perform at al-Assad’s birthday bash was simply the right thing to do after the recent violence in Syria.

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“I agree with President Obama and Senator McCain that Assad should pay for the innocent women and children he’s murdered,” Lopez told Hollywood & Swine.  “But more importantly, he has to pay even more for me to sing for him on his birthday.  I’m not saying I’m a hero for taking this bold stance, but my publicist will.”

Lopez, who has come under controversy this year after the Human Rights Foundation accused her over earning over $10 million performing live for dictators in Eastern Europe and Russia, believes her stance on Syria could help reverse her negative PR.

In addition to raising her quote to perform at Assad’s birthday, she will also show her support for the Syrian victims by only performing material from her new album and putting in even less effort in her performance than she did in her recent film “Parker.”

Lopez’s upcoming performance in Syria Wednesday comes on the heels of President Obama asking congress to allow him to take military action against Assad’s regime for using chemical weapons against his own civilians, including children.  In even more horrific allegations, Assad has been accused of using Lopez’s music and films like “The Back-Up Plan,” “Angel Eyes,” and “Gigli,” against civilians to destroy their morale.

Fortunately, President Obama believes by having Lopez perform at Assad’s birthday celebration Wednesday, he will finally be able to convince congress and the international community that a well-timed military strike can rid the world of not only one of the its most ruthless dictators but also one of its most ruthless celebrities.

  • Guest

    This article has to be a joke, right? Right??? So she thinks by increasing her fees to perform for yet anOTHER evil leader is taking a strong stance of protest? Is she giving the money for her ‘performance’ to the families of the victims? Or just hoarding more money away?

  • Chico

    She’s nothing but a prostitute. Capitalizing on the deaths of those Syrians even though there’s no evidence at all to say Assad was to blame and any amount of evidence pointing the finger at the rebels. If she truly believed that Assad was guilty, why would she go at all.

    • The Man

      It’s difficult to tell at a glance whether your stupidity or moral degeneracy is greater.

      For you, the previous poster, and endless morons to come: yes, the article is what is known among people of normal intelligence as satire. That means: it’s not really true, but it’s funny and makes a point at the same time, usually a grim one. This one is at Lopez’s expense for being, as you so eloquently put it, “a prostitute”. So you more or less got one right.

      But Chico, you lose all those those points when you attempt to defend the mass murderer Assad and his Mafia family. So sad, we’re going to have to let you go. Better luck next time. And rally try not to be so stupid and immoral next time, OK? OK.

  • Melody Pierson

    No amount of money in the world would make me sing for one of the world’s most deplorable human beings. Singing, bringing him pleasure? Gimme a break. Take your nails to a chalkboard and say you wrote it just for him.

  • Rdsnper

    No respect any more, what a loser she is. No character

  • Mae Blue

    Uh, this is satire…

  • dave schrade

    society has gone nuts

  • BlakeSDavis

    What a hypocrite!

  • NutsBolts

    Pretty funny, but that last line is out of place. The Won would not consider it bonus to eliminate a celebutard, any celebutard.

  • Michael P. Fink

    what a patriot, wonderful set of value and ethic,” hooray for me and the hell with everyone else”

  • irvinelady

    This has to be a ridiculous attempt at humor? Not possible this is true.

  • GanymedeATL

    Obviously a joke. No way La Lopez would ever admit to agreeing with McCain!

  • abd nazal

    First-degree false deserve contempt and is nothing but propaganda to increase wages and that the blood of the Syrians and exploited children and women, such as the false Obama and dirty like the Syrian opposition

  • dso1

    Surely you jest.

  • Sarah_M547

    Lopez’s upcoming performance in Syria Wednesday(…) Not real. http://drop70.cOm ♦

  • bartthegenius

    Its a twofor; Assad and J-Lo!! I’d vote for that.