michael fassbender

Penis Envy Blamed For Fassbender’s Oscar Nominations Snub

One of the more surprising snubs of this week’s Oscar nominations was the no-show of actor Michael Fassbender’s name in the Best Actor Category.  While some speculated the oversight may have been the result of poor marketing or intense competition, a new theory has been making the rounds of Hollywood: It was penis envy that derailed Fassbender’s shot.

Fassbender, who received Golden Globe and BAFTA nominations for his performance as a sex addict in Steve McQueen’s “Shame,” said he suspected this might happen:  “When George Clooney complimented me during his Golden Globes acceptance speech on how well hung I am, I knew I was in for a rough ride.”

An unnamed academy voter agreed that there appears to be a Fassbender bias.  “It’s outrageous he didn’t get nominated.  Who gave the more daring performance this year, Fassbender in ‘Shame’ or George Clooney in ‘The Descendants’?  One urinated on camera, the other wore board shorts.”

This isn’t the first time penis envy has impacted an actor’s Oscar chances.  Harvey Keitel was notably snubbed by the academy for his memorable performances in “Bad Lieutenant” and “The Piano,” both of which featured full frontal nudity of him.

  • brad brown

    does this in some weird penis-oriented way explain why Bridesmaids was snubbed? and Spielberg for War Horse?

  • Auds

    Brad: Bridesmaids was most likely snubbed because of the lack of penis in the characters on screen, while War Horse, who knows. I haven’t seen WH & don’t care it. I’d still like to know why Dicaprio was snubbed for J. Edgar.

    • shempus

      Not sure, but perhaps it was too creepy how well he depicted a friggin’ F A G?

  • Nig

    Im gonna force my dick into your anus