olympus

President Obama Buys ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ Tickets For School Children to Make Up For Cancelled White House Tours

President Barack Obama announced today he had purchased hundreds of thousands of movie tickets on Fandango this past weekend for the hit action film “Olympus Has Fallen,” and given them to school children across the nation who are still disappointed that their much-anticipated field trips to tour the White House were cancelled due to federal budget cuts.

Hollywood insiders are crediting the move by the President for helping “Olympus Has Fallen” gross an impressive $30 million during its opening weekend, despite it’s rotten rating of 50% on Rotten Tomatoes.  The President’s move also gave the film’s star, Gerard Butler, a much-needed hit.

Olympus

After learning that tours of the White House had been cancelled, these disappointed students were given tickets to “Olympus Has Fallen.”

“Thanks to the sequester, ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ is the closest anybody will get to seeing the inside of the White House for quite a while,” President Obama told Hollywood & Swine.  “Besides, this movie will help teach those students why I was forced to shut down the tours in the first place.  The GOP refuses to negotiate with me, just like the Korean terrorists in the film who are trying to kill Gerard Butler.”

Republicans immediately slammed Obama’s Fandango purchase as another attempt by the president to use Hollywood to help him manipulate the masses.  Many in the GOP are still furious after Obama closed down tours of the White House, blaming budget cuts due to the sequester.  The White House tours became extremely pricey in recent months due to the cost of added secret service agents required to prevent “Olympus Has Fallen”- inspired copycats trying to use the tour to hijack the building.  President Obama ordered the added security after he learned that “Olympus Has Fallen” has already inspired a copycat film, “White House Down,” which opens this summer.

“If President Obama really cared about the nation’s school children, he would have waited until next Summer and bought them tickets to see ‘White House Down,’ starring Channing Tatum,” Speaker of the House John Boehner said.  “Gerard Butler is a second-tier movie star, just like Obama is a second-tier President.”

  • IamNotObamaThankGod

    And in a move to show sacrifice in these tough sequester time, the President did not buy movie tickets for his daughters but sent them to the Bahamas. Another tough call by President regarding shared sacrifice. I salute you, sir!

  • crbtoo

    While Obama goes out of his way to prove he is really the perfect reflection of those that elected him “Idiot and Chief” Seriously, what kind of moron would send under age children to see a movie about the violent capture of the White House to hold our Government hostage? Just a socialist who wants to take attention off of his doing the same thing in s quiet, creeping, non-violent way…
    Wake up America!

    • Neemz2000

      What kind of moron would treat this clearly satirical story on a satirical news site as a real story?

      • Kyle Tackett

        “What kind of moron,” you ask? The same kind of moron who, like crbtoo, gets their “news” from the RWNJ propaganda machine, Faux “News”.

  • tcecil

    Olypus Has Fallen was a great movie. Im glad Obama ordered more security for the white house. And its sad to read that so many people are against him, no matter what he does.

  • Kerrie Kerns

    A) This never happened. B) Olympus Has Fallen was a terrible movie.