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More People Drown While Surfing During Past Weekend Than Saw ‘Chasing Mavericks’

Executives at 20^th Century Fox, the studio behind the surfing drama “Chasing Mavericks,” admitted that more people drowned while surfing this past weekend than actually saw their film, which finished 12^th at the boxoffice during its first three days of release.

The United States Coast Guard issued a report today blaming the high drowning rate on massive waves on the East Coast caused by Hurricane Sandy, along with the 33% rotten rating “Chasing Mavericks” received on Rotten Tomatoes, which made surfers take their chances on dangerous waves rather than on Gerard Butler’s latest bad movie.

Upon learning of the news, Fox immediately began placing posters for the movie at all beaches known for treacherous surf conditions along the Eastern Seaboard, in an effort to drum up business for the movie that, like many of the surfers who drowned, was pronounced DOA.

“My brother died doing what he loved,” said Tim Bradford, whose 30-year-old brother, Nick, drowned this weekend off the coast of Florida.  “And there was nothing he loved more than skipping Gerard Butler movies.”

In an effort to create some good publicity after the drownings, Fox offered free tickets to “Chasing Mavericks” to the families of this weekend’s drowning victims.  But studio executives admitted most of the families have already declined the offer, stating that the memory of their loved ones deaths, as well as memories of Gerard Butler’s “Machine Gun Preacher” are still too fresh in their minds to see “Chasing Mavericks.”

Studio executives also said they had offered the use of their mostly empty theaters showing “Chasing Mavericks” to be used as shelters during the hurricane.  New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced he had accepted the studio’s offer and told citizens they should make their way to any theater that was showing the film.

” ‘Chasing Mavericks’ tells the story of a young surfer who forms a unique friendship with his mentor, who trains him to surf giant waves,” Gerald Butler told Hollywood & Swine.  “Okay, even I admit that sounds really boring and is probably why no one went to see it.”