in » Film, Hollywood, Movies, 21 Replies

Robert Pattinson Gets Revenge on Kristen Stewart For Affair With Older Director by Seducing Nancy Meyers

Robert Pattinson wasted no time in dealing with the devastation of finding out about girlfriend and “Twilight” co-star Kristen Stewart’s affair with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders, by quickly having sex with a much older filmmaker, choosing 62-year-old director Nancy Meyers.

According to sources close to the brooding movie star, once Stewart publicly acknowledged her infidelity with the 41-year-old married director, Pattinson immediately called his agent and demanded a list of the top female directors working in Hollywood.

To Pattinson’s surprise the list was shockingly short, due to movie studios’ reluctance to hire women to direct their films.

“I never realized there was such a serious lack of female directors in Hollywood until I started searching for one to have revenge sex with,” Pattinson confessed to Hollywood & Swine.

Pattinson’s first three choices were directors Jodie Foster, Kimberly Pierce and Lisa Cholodenko but they all turned him down, though strangely, the three women pleaded for Stewart’s cellphone number.

Pattinson then contacted the remaining five working female directors in Hollywood, but only Meyers’ schedule permitted a quick romantic rendezvous.  Within hours, Pattinson got the “What Women Want” director into bed.

“I’m pretty sure I gave Nancy exactly what women want and it was nice for a change to be in bed with a woman who isn’t afraid to smile,” Pattinson said, referring to the famously pouty Stewart.