Hollywood and Swine

Subscribe Via Email

 
Renny Harlin Correction Institute Inmates

Categories

Archives

in » Film, Hollywood, Movies, 21 Replies

Robert Pattinson Gets Revenge on Kristen Stewart For Affair With Older Director by Seducing Nancy Meyers

Robert Pattinson wasted no time in dealing with the devastation of finding out about girlfriend and “Twilight” co-star Kristen Stewart’s affair with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders, by quickly having sex with a much older filmmaker, choosing 62-year-old director Nancy Meyers.

Nancy Meyers

Robert Pattinson sharing a post-coital embrace with director Nancy Meyers after getting even with Kristen Stewart.

According to sources close to the brooding movie star, once Stewart publicly acknowledged her infidelity with the 41-year-old married director, Pattinson immediately called his agent and demanded a list of the top female directors working in Hollywood.

To Pattinson’s surprise the list was shockingly short, due to movie studios’ reluctance to hire women to direct their films.

“I never realized there was such a serious lack of female directors in Hollywood until I started searching for one to have revenge sex with,” Pattinson confessed to Hollywood & Swine.

Pattinson’s first three choices were directors Jodie Foster, Kimberly Pierce and Lisa Cholodenko but they all turned him down, though strangely, the three women pleaded for Stewart’s cellphone number.

Pattinson then contacted the remaining five working female directors in Hollywood, but only Meyers’ schedule permitted a quick romantic rendezvous.  Within hours, Pattinson got the “What Women Want” director into bed.

“I’m pretty sure I gave Nancy exactly what women want and it was nice for a change to be in bed with a woman who isn’t afraid to smile,” Pattinson said, referring to the famously pouty Stewart.

  • Japper

    This is a fake. His head is clearly Photoshopped.

    • http://twitter.com/LoveAddict_Book Ethlie Ann Vare

      Ya think???

      • D Johnson

        lol

    • http://en-gb.facebook.com/people/Natalie-Davis/603061536 Natalie Davis

      Duh.

    • BAT4Rob

      *facepalm* Oh God, I am laughing so hard my sides hurt…

  • http://twitter.com/renate2009 gabriele

    hahahah..thats hillerious, they put his head on that body, you can see it at the left side. And really,,Do we look S T U P I D 

  • Ivan

    Also, the three first options are doubtful, Cholodenko is known as a lesbian woman, and Foster is “possible”. I would like to see him with Kathryn Bigelow, not only gorgeous at her age, talented and a cougar -If it’s true she’s dating with Mark Boal-

  • Guinnethv

    Clever….

  • faint

    What???? People are not stupid or baby brain… nonsense!.

  • Vocevaluation

    love it. very funny.

  • Marvelat7

    love ya for making this light
    xx

  • Nicole

    I have a feeling that this is a fake, and I mean it is VERY obvious. Rob is usually very private about what he does, and this clearly doesn’t sound like him: ”I never realized there was such a serious lack of female directors in Hollywood until I started searching for one to have revenge sex with,” Pattinson confessed to Hollywood & Swine. 

  • sami

    come on this look like a comedy and a nice one too

  • Osgoodfielding

    I can’t believe so many here didn’t get the joke.

  • Lore

    lol of course is a joke, I think i laugh more with the comments below PMSL

  • Suzy

    Funny!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Carras/100001249396142 Steve Carras

    It’s yet another internet humor site about entertainment.:)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Carras/100001249396142 Steve Carras

    In addition to finding what women want. Ms.Nancy Myers also found that “It’
    s Complicated”..among many other movies. How about Catherine Hardwicke who directed the FIRST “Twilight” film…?

  • http://twitter.com/FernandezThony Thony Fernandez

    My gosh edited photo!!!

  • guest

    God, that’s hilarious! To Pattinson’s surprise the list was shockingly short, due to movie studios’ reluctance to hire women to direct their films. Lol, too true, slim pickings when it comes to female directors in Hollyweird!

  • http://twitter.com/ccms37m Colleen Sarica

    that is funny

Copyright © 2012 Hollywood & Swine