businessman with laptop and contract at office

After Ruling Summer Boxoffice, Michael Bay Renegotiates Deal With the Devil

by Andy Marx & Will McArdle

Following his production company’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” reboot making a staggering $65 million opening weekend, which came on the heels of his directorial effort “Transformers: Age of Extinction” grossing over $1,000,000,000 worldwide, Hollywood powerhouse Michael Bay announced he has renegotiated his deal with the Devil that he signed two decades ago. According to Bay, the controversial deal he signed in 1994 with the Devil involved the aspiring director giving up his soul in exchange for the Prince of Darkness making him the most powerful filmmaking force on the planet.

“When ‘Bad Boys’ opened in 1995 to over $171 million worldwide despite starring two unproven leads, I knew I made the right decision,” Bay told Hollywood & Swine. “A lot of people thought that the dominant force driving my career early on was Jerry Bruckheimer, but actually it was good old Satan. How else do you explain my two critically-panned films based on 1980’s cartoons becoming gigantic blockbusters while almost every other film is struggling at the boxoffice this summer?”

Bay’s new deal with Lucifer was negotiated by his agency WME and it involves the director getting to make ten more hit sequels to “Transformers” and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” in exchange for Satan receiving the souls of thousands of aspiring actors who Bay will cast in the films, in addition to an executive producer credit for the Devil along with 5% of all future gross participation and merchandising deals.

  • Marv Tha’ Gooner

    Love your sense of humor. Love it, love it!