Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn has vowed to honor the memory of his good friend, controversial Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, who died today, by vowing to make life a living hell for Americans. Penn, who admitted Chavez’s death was the hardest thing he’s had to endure since trying to watch all of ex-wife Robin Wright’s series “House of Cards” on Netflix, will make honoring Chavez an even bigger priority than chain-smoking and bedding actresses half his age.
“Hugo Chavez hated George Bush, American capitalism, and freedom of the press, almost as much as I do,” Penn told Hollywood & Swine. “Besides Hugo’s smile, the thing I’m going to miss most about my friend, is hunting reporters with him in the jungles of Venezuela.”
Penn first met Chavez on a popular relationship website that helps match controversial celebrities with world leaders accused of human rights violations. Chavez praised Penn for the nightmare marriage he put Madonna, who Chavez believed represented everything shameless and wrong with American capitalism, through in the 1980s,
Penn’s plan to make life a living hell on Americans, includes spreading second-hand smoke, non-stop rambling about the world’s injustices, and punishing audiences nationwide with cartoonish overacting in bad movies like he did in this year’s “Gangster Squad.”
Chavez’s other big Hollywood supporter, director Oliver Stone, released a statement today praising Chavez from the Renny Harlin Penitentiary, where he is doing time in Director Jail for his latest cinematic crimes (Hollywood & Swine, July 12, 2012). Stone, made headlines last summer, when he tried to flee the United States and escape to Venezuela after the release of his boxoffice failure, “Savages,” in an effort to avoid Director Jail.
In related news, “Celebrity Apprentice” star Dennis Rodman called Sean Penn to not only offer his condolences for the death of his friend, but also to see if the actor wanted to carpool with him and his new buddy, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, to Chavez’s funeral.