sean penn 2

Sean Penn To Honor Late Friend Hugo Chavez By Making Life a Living Hell For Americans

Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn has vowed to honor the memory of his good friend, controversial Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, who died today, by vowing to make life a living hell for Americans.  Penn, who admitted Chavez’s death was the hardest thing he’s had to endure since trying to watch all of ex-wife Robin Wright’s series “House of Cards” on Netflix, will make honoring Chavez an even bigger priority than chain-smoking and bedding actresses half his age.

sean penn 2“Hugo Chavez hated George Bush, American capitalism, and freedom of the press, almost as much as I do,” Penn told Hollywood & Swine.  “Besides Hugo’s smile, the thing I’m going to miss most about my friend, is hunting reporters with him in the jungles of Venezuela.”

Penn first met Chavez on a popular relationship website that helps match controversial celebrities with world leaders accused of human rights violations.  Chavez praised Penn for the nightmare marriage he put Madonna, who Chavez believed represented everything shameless and wrong with American capitalism, through in the 1980s,

Penn’s plan to make life a living hell on Americans, includes spreading second-hand smoke, non-stop rambling about the world’s injustices, and punishing audiences nationwide with cartoonish overacting in bad movies like he did in this year’s “Gangster Squad.”

Chavez’s other big Hollywood supporter, director Oliver Stone, released a statement today praising Chavez from the Renny Harlin Penitentiary, where he is doing time in Director Jail for his latest cinematic crimes (Hollywood & Swine, July 12, 2012).  Stone, made headlines last summer, when he tried to flee the United States and escape to Venezuela after the release of his boxoffice failure, “Savages,” in an effort to avoid Director Jail.

In related news, “Celebrity Apprentice” star Dennis Rodman called Sean Penn to not only offer his condolences for the death of his friend, but also to see if the actor wanted to carpool with him and his new buddy, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, to Chavez’s funeral.

  • Gordon Campbell

    The widow Mrs Sean Chavez is a stupid inbred stack of meat

  • Colleta

    Its sad that one of the gallant fighters against European and American imperialism is no more. This axis of evil which falsely purpots to advance democracy must be resisted by all genuine nationalists. Who are ED Royce and Mike Rogers in the affairs of Venezuelans or this world at large anyway? Rest in peace comrade. I will personally cherish your courage against imperialism.

    • pinstripes7

      As Seinfeld: “That’s a shame.”

  • loafer1946

    Chavez all but destroyed a beautiful country rich in resources. I am sorry for his family but glad he has gone.

    • lucas

      you have no idea what you are talking about. so you’d better stay put. we the latin american people know who he really was and what he really did.

      • loafer1946

        I admire your reasoned argument but 30 years of experience and the opinions of hundreds of Venezuelan friends and relations will not change my opinion.

      • debra40

        you are not speaking for all latin americans. You believe him to be one way and others believe him to be another.

      • skysi


    • Un Chileno

      One thing is to be a complete ignorant and other very different is to be proud of that. First of all inform yourself about latinamerica and after that we will be more than happy to read your modest opinion.

  • nondhimmi

    Is this for real? This is the Onion, right? What a joke.

  • Tucker13

    Worms gotta eat.

  • Paul Najera

    During Hugo Chavez time as leader, Venezuela has increased in shortages of basic goods, Inflation jump to 30%, it has the worse performing economy in the pass decade in terms of GDP in South America. Dumb Democrats like Stone, Moore, Penn think it a great thing.

  • Uncledon

    He’s gonna make our lives a “Living Hell”?? How, by making yet another stupid, left wing POS movie? “Please, loser, anything but that”….

  • lanam

    just looking at sean penn is HELL! Wish this piece of crap would leave the country for good; so sick of his whining about crap, if its SO BAD her just leave, i’m certain “some” people could give a rats ass and never miss you. why is he so mean about his ex- wife Robin the BEST thing she did was leaving his insane abusive ass..she has a lot of talent – much rather her; could never see what she saw in him, she’s too pretty and deserved so much better. Also Sean please stay away from New Orleans, because after Hurricane Katrina you didn’t help by bringing a film crew, boat, and WEAPONS – you WUSS. Can’t believe someone as CRAZY as him can even have a gun; anti-gun to sean penn please.. other actors/actresses helped by handing out food and water, while you just drifted along in your boat w/a film crew and guns; like really WTF you think you were doing? Brad,Angelina,Costner,Randy Quaid, actually HELPED by caring for the people – but no Sean had to show his stupidity and bring weapons when things were already in chaos; i could go on because i live in new orleans and my brother works for the local electric comp who was trying to put poles back up and/or on poles that were up and fix the problems, while he was getting shot at by people. He saw a lot my bros and the images still stick with him..GO AWAY SEAN.

    • lanam

      also screw chavez- sorry for his wife (and children if he had any) ; hollyweird praising this man is just typical of them, if any other actors hate america like sean does – PLEASE GO – NOBODY STOPPING YOU, AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR POLITICS – SOME PEOPLE DON’T DRINK YOUR FREAKING KOOL-AID – BUH BYE GTFO

  • martha chandler

    Sean, please go join chubby chavez. He’s calling you. Please make haste!!

  • Scot Harvath

    His mere existence is a living hell.

  • Dayna Gallagher

    When will that Patriot Sean renounce his USA Citizenship, pack up his
    “stuff” & relocate to reside near the resting spot/grave of his fine
    & faithful pal Hugo or his condo in Haiti. He just may have ample
    opportunities to produce, direct, & star in the fine films of those
    utopian ideal hotspots. Then perhaps it is those who truly love to live,
    work, raise our families & thrive here in the U.S. who may benefit
    from some R-E-L-I-E-F.