Having already starred in the two biggest boxoffice disasters of 2012, Taylor Kitsch knew he couldn’t let a third sure-fire flop get made without his involvement, so the actor announced today he has joined the cast of “World War Z.” Kitsch signed on to Paramount’s troubled zombie epic as soon as he heard about the serious troubles the $170 million production is having.
“I look for two things in a movie — major script issues, and being over budget,” said Kitsch, who recently starred in the boxoffice disasters “John Carter” and “Battleship.” “Fortunately, ‘World War Z’ has both of those things and that’s what attracted me to the project.”
Kitsch, who admits his goal is to bankrupt every studio in town, originally wanted to join the cast of another troubled film, “The Lone Ranger,” but realized he had already done enough damage to the Walt Disney Co., the studio behind “John Carter.” Having also inflicted financial damage on Universal Pictures, the studio that made “Battleship,” Kitsch decided Paramount would be his next stop.
“We are happy to welcome Taylor Kitsch to the Paramount family,” said Paramount chairman and CEO Brad Grey. “We can’t wait to see what he does here.”
Screenwriter Damon Lindelof, whom Paramount brought in to rewrite “World War Z” is more than willing to work Kitsch into the film’s still unfinished third act.
“Like most of America, I didn’t see ‘Battleship’ or ‘John Carter,’ ” said Lindelof. “However I did catch an episode of ‘Friday Night Lights’ and he was great as Tim Riggins.”
Industry insiders believe Kitsch’s desire to be in the biggest boxoffice failures Hollywood has to offer, is the result of a cruel prank Hugh Jackman played on Kitsch during the filming of “Wolverine.” According to a source, Jackman told Kitsch that a movie star’s gross point participation actually works the opposite way — the more money a film loses, the bigger the check the star will receive.
According to people close to Kitsch, this explains why the actor stands by his mailbox each morning, waiting for his bonus checks from “John Carter” and “Battleship” to arrive.