simon cowell

Simon Cowell Signs Deal With Fox to Develop Baby With Rupert Murdoch’s Estranged Wife

On the heels of impregnating the estranged wife of good friend Andrew Silverman, “X Factor” star Simon Cowell has signed a multi-million dollar deal to develop a baby with Wendi Deng, the estranged wife of his boss, News Corp. chairman Rupert Murdoch.

“Like most of America, I always assumed Cowell was gay because of his haircut and the tight shirts he always wears,” Murdoch told Hollywood & Swine.  “I’m assuming Andrew Silverman thought the same thing, which is why he let Cowell spend so much alone time with his wife.  When I heard the news, I immediately called my estranged wife, Wendi, and told her if she wanted to have a baby with Simon, too, I won’t try to stop her.  We’ll just both go our separate ways with the money we each brought into the marriage.”

simon cowell

William Zabel, the new lawyer Wendi hired last week to handle her divorce from the billionaire Murdoch, shot down Murdoch’s offer, admitting the only thing his client is less interested in than having sex with the pretentious Cowell, is leaving her marriage without a massive financial settlement.

In related news, Cowell has finally opened up about his future plans with the still married Laura Silverman and their impending child.

“I have every intention of my child seeing me as it grows up,” Cowell said.  “Hopefully, Laura will help make that happen and make sure that kid watches me on the ‘X-Factor’ and whatever other shameless reality show I’m appearing on.”