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Sony Executives at Comic-Con Relieved after 50-Year-Old in Spider-Man Costume Assures Them ‘Total Recall’ Will Be a Blockbuster

Sony Executives who attended Comic-Con in San Diego this past weekend were relieved to learn from a middle-aged man dressed in a Spider-Man costume that their upcoming big-budget film ‘Total Recall,’ will be a boxoffice hit of epic proportions.

“We were nervous that Colin Farrell hasn’t starred in a blockbuster in almost ten years and that no one was asking for a remake of ‘Total Recall,’ ” said a spokesperson for Sony.  “But after talking to that overweight guy dressed as Spider-Man who lives at home with his parents, we’re convinced things are going to be alright.”


Moments after seeing clips from “Total Recall,” at this year’s Comic-Con, 50-year-old Marty Sanders gives two thumbs up and predicted the film will be a boxoffice hit, the same thing he said about “Kick-Ass” and “Watchmen.”

The man in question is 50-year-old Marty Sanders, who attended this year’s Comic-Con dressed in his usual Spider-Man costume.  Sanders made news at Comic-Con in 2010 when he predicted “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” would not only be the highest- grossing film of all-time but also sweep the Academy Awards.  That prediction was eerily similar to the one he made about ‘Watchmen’ a few years earlier.  Both films bombed at the boxoffice.

“I feel bad I got those other studios hopes up,” said Sanders, who has been unemployed and living in his parents’ basement ever since losing his job at Blockbuster last year when the company filed for bankruptcy.  “However, this time I know I’m right.”

Unfortunately for Sony, Sanders admits he has no intention of seeing “Total Recall” in theaters, because he and his friends all plan on downloading it illegally off the Internet.

  • Dan

    I hope you realize you’re encouraging people to steal – that’s what illegal downloading is.

  • Sachin Dubey

    fuck this CHEAP ARTICLE