Taylor Kitsch

Taylor Kitsch Volunteers to Accept Oscar Nomination Joaquin Phoenix Doesn’t Want

Following Joaquin Phoenix’s recent statement in a magazine interview where he bashed Oscar-campaigning as “utter bullsh*t,” actor Taylor Kitsch immediately made it known to every Academy voter that he will gladly accept the Best Actor nomination that Phoenix, who starred in this year’s “The Master,” is trying to avoid.

“The thing about good actors is they take Oscar nominations for granted,” Kitsch told Hollywood & Swine.  “If Joaquin Phoenix thinks campaigning for an Oscar is painful, he should try promoting ‘Battleship.’ ”

Taylor Kitsch

Taylor Kitsch seen in his Academy Award campaign photo, which was released to all members of the Academy.

Phoenix, already a two-time Oscar nominee, whom many in Hollywood thought was a front runner for Best Actor for his impressive performance in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Scientology-inspired “The Master,” made it clear in the recent issue of Interview Magazine how much he didn’t want to participate in the Oscar process.

Upon reading Phoenix’s interview, Kitsch immediately started his Oscar campaign, which meant having to drop out of the community college drama program that he had recently enrolled in this fall in the wake his three boxoffice failures “John Carter,” “Battleship,” and “Savages.”  According to Kitsch, he already has a strategy to eliminate his biggest competition for an Oscar nomination, “Lincoln” star Daniel-Day Lewis, and “Silver Linings Playbook” star, Bradley Cooper.

“I’ve already convinced Daniel-Day Lewis that he can’t let Joaquin Phoenix be the most pretentious actor in Hollywood,” Kitsch said.  “So starting tomorrow, he’ll also be trashing the Academy Awards every chance he gets to guarantee he doesn’t get nominated.  And for Bradley Cooper, I’m personally paying to send screeners of ‘Hit and Run,’ and ‘The Words,’ to every Academy voter.  That way they’ll know I’m not the only actor who can make horrible movies.”

Las Vegas puts Kitsch’s odds of landing an Oscar nomination this year at 5,000,000 to one, even with Phoenix now out of the race, but Kitsch isn’t deterred.  “Directors Andrew Stanton, Peter Berg, and Oliver Stone taught me two things,” said Kitsch.  “Never give up on your dreams no matter the odds.  And try to work with better directors.”