tracy morgan

Walmart Offers Tracy Morgan Greeter Job with Partial Benefits In Lieu Of Cash Settlement

by Mike Morse

Just days after comedian Tracy Morgan filed a negligence lawsuit against Walmart in connection with his horrible June 7th car accident, the billion dollar conglomerate has offered the comedian a job as a front door “greeter” at one of their nearly 9,000 stores as compensation for Morgan’s injuries.

“It can be at any store, any location Mr. Morgan chooses,” Wal-Mart president and CEO Doug McMillon told Hollywood & Swine. “He’ll get his own blue Walmart employee vest and a stylish personalized name tag.  All completely free of charge, of course.”

Morgan’s lawyer, Benedict Morelli, initially scoffed at the Bentonville, Arkansas-based company’s offer.

“How do we know that they will give Mr. Morgan a decent amount of hours each week,” Morelli said.  “And even if they do, what assurance does my client have that those hours won’t be in what’s known as the dreaded ‘graveyard shift?’”

“Walmart promises Mr. Morgan that his will be a full-time position, with the majority of his hours falling between nine a.m. and five p.m.,” countered Walmart’s McMillon.  “And, after only three years of employment, he will be eligible to have both Christmas and Easter off.”

After careful consideration, Morgan accepted Walmart’s job offer and released the following statement:

“Since getting out of the hospital, it was either this or taking a part in ‘Cop Out 2’ with Bruce Willis,” Morgan said. “And since I actually want to be seen by the public, I choose being a Walmart greeter.”

  • johnclark1

    This is known as a “Lew Wasserman” solution. Instead of settling out of a general p/l fund, the aggrieved party gets to work it off.